it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
