you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize