Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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