I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Lo siento on account of my penis...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
