Having a random hookup so left but love u
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
