they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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