butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
