In the future we'll all be gay
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
So much rum. So many feels.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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