i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
