my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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