well I can't set my house on fire every night
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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