Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just pee around me
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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