just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
