who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
