I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize