just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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