i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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