Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
