Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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