i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
