he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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