Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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