It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
not ubering you a puppy
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
