If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
