UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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