I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
handjob tips. give me some.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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