yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
