I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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