The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i would punch a child for taco bell
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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