Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
