Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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