Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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