quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
