Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
