I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize