no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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