I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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