I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
