A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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