Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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