Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
