i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
