I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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