How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
