forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
