I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
