You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
