So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
