fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
