i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
