butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
