i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I have fence marks all over my body
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
