If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
