OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
