LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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