the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
