I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
