I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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