you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
