it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
