he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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