if only i could text you this smell
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
