The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
