Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize