There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
