It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
