I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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