come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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